Back to Basics

In what I feel has thus far resembled a professional effort from our domestic top dogs , all has been undermined by the farcical situation of the Bray Wanderers away strip episode. Having remarked last time out on the wisdom of allowing games to be broadcast live, the spectacle of what looked like a Ragball Rovers eleven trotting across the canyon of my plasma screen was an embarrassing one.

Lest my blog is targeted by Seagull Suicide Bombers let me balance that statement by complimenting the Wanderers on their impressive efforts on the night. However, someone, somewhere is responsible for the mess that the kit clash left us with on Monday night.

Think about it, the expense involved in setting up the OB Unit, flying Felix and Curt by chopper to the Peoples' Republic and turning on the floodlights. We are selling an image; we are competing with the most image driven football league in the world. We need any help we can get. And then this sh1t happens!

Think of the time and effort that Bray Wanderers will have put into securing a shirt sponsor for the season - think about the promise of live TV exposure - a huge factor in swaying a potential victim. The live game comes around, the sponsor (HARD METAL in this case) lies back in his plush leather chair and pushes the cigar button. Another push produces a 12-year-old scotch. The final push beams Setanta Sports onto the office wall.

The colour combination was not easy on the eye, looking like the design efforts of a deeply depressed homosexual. Even a referee could tell that either of Bray's kits would clash with the Cork toothpaste jersey. Only a set of shirts was needed to rectify the situation- not a full kit, but this was somehow not conceived by the Wicklow club.

In the interests of appearance, why couldn't the home side slip into this season's away strip? Then we would not have the ridiculous situation of players running around with blacked out names on the backs of their shirts. Cork in their away kit with Bray in theirs would have presented a more aesthetically pleasing picture than that with which we were presented. A poor effort it was at blacking out names too, as George O'Callaghan's shirt graced Turner's Cross again, alongside Neil Fenn's.

A small but crucially important detail which can be nipped in the bud at the beginning of every season. Clubs present their strip for inspection by a referee who then adjudicates on which strips clash. Even junior leagues issue such details to every club at the beginning of a season, there is no excuse for it at the highest level. It has made our game look awkwardly amateur and it is fiercely annoying, for these incidents are indicative of one of our greatest talents - the ability to shoot oneself accurately and regularly in the foot. A talent which I felt we were in the process of burying. It must not happen again.